It Was Always You (A Calamity Falls Novel Book 5) Read online

  It Was Always You

  Erika Kelly

  Contents

  Titles by Erika Kelly

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Epilogue

  Also by Erika Kelly

  Keep on Loving You

  About the Author

  Praise for the Rock Star Romance series

  You Really Got Me

  “Lovable characters and pulse-pounding chemistry make this one of my favorite reads of the year!”—Laura Kaye, New York Times Bestselling Author

  "Sexy, lyrical and electric with hot, romantic tension." — NYT and USA Today Bestselling author Lauren Blakely

  I Want You To Want Me

  Booklist calls I WANT YOU TO WANT ME “…steamy, hot, and totally engaging. The characters are realistic, and Kelly paints a vivid picture of what happens behind the scenes in the world of rock.”

  Take Me Home Tonight

  All About Romance awards TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT a Desert Isle Keeper review. “All these (characters) are so authentically human they nearly walk off the page. If you like books where real people have real problems and find real love (while having really hot sex)? Pick up Take Me Home Tonight and enjoy the ride.”

  TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT “is emotional and tremendously sexy, with a large cast of characters that readers will adore — Kelly's rendering of Calix's grieving parents is particularly well-done — but it is Mimi's strength that will linger long after the finish.” — Sarah MacLean, Washington Post

  More Than A Feeling

  “This was all just so AMAZING and I feel blown away!!! Honestly, I can't say enough good things. Emotion, tension, drama, and off the charts chemistry and heat. I felt like my emotions were going to spill over while I was reading and by the end, my heart was bursting. Cooper and Daisy's story was so wonderful and I think it just might be my favorite in the series. That's saying a lot too because I LOVE this series.” — About that Story

  Praise for The Calamity Falls series

  Keep On Loving You

  “I adored this book! It is exactly what I love in a second-chance romance. The characters are so vibrant and real, I was rooting for them with every page.” — USA Today Bestseller Devney Perry

  “KEEP ON LOVING YOU is such a fun and sexy second-chance romance that I didn’t want it to end. Their connection is a swoony blend of tender first love and sizzling heat, and Erika Kelly delivers a highly entertaining and sigh-worthy romance that shouldn’t be missed.” — Mary Dube, USA Today

  We Belong Together

  “I loved every sweet, heart-wrenching, crazy, mixed-up minute of this book. It was an emotional journey from the first chapter to the last. This is Erika Kelly at her best, and this is not-to-be-missed book!” — Sharon Slick Reads, Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews

  “Erika Kelly damn near pulled my heart from my chest with Delilah and Will’s story. It’s so well-written that you feel everything. My heart got tugged so hard! I honestly cried at a few moments in the book. I fell all the way in love with “Wooby.” It’s hard not to, really.” — Ree Cee’s Books

  The Very Thought Of You

  “Wow, THE VERY THOUGHT OF YOU was simply OUTSTANDING! This second chance, friends to lovers romance is enchanting and entertaining.” — Spellbound Stories

  “I just finished this story, and I want to start all over again. Or maybe at the start of series. To once again feel the events, the emotions, that brought these amazing characters together. To hear the banter and the arguments, the sorrow, the loss and the happiness that brought a family together and closer.” — Nerdy, Dirty, and Flirty

  Just The Way You Are

  “An alpha cowboy and a smart, sassy princess collide in JUST THE WAY YOU ARE in Erika Kelly's latest, and it was fabulous! I was cheering for Brodie and Rosalina with every page. If you love stories with heart, steam, and plenty of swoon, don't miss this one!” — USA Today Bestselling Author J.H. Croix

  “With the Calamity Falls series, Kelly doesn't shy away from charming. She captivates with delectable characters that wrap themselves around a heart. From the first hello to the final goodbye, Rosalind and Brodie are a match made out of the unpredictable, but the sweetest kind of heaven. JUST THE WAY YOU ARE is the perfect example of why I am hooked on this series. SWOONWORTHY READ!” — Hopeless Romantic Book Reviews

  Titles by Erika Kelly

  The Calamity Falls series

  KEEP ON LOVING YOU

  WE BELONG TOGETHER

  THE VERY THOUGHT OF YOU

  JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

  IT WAS ALWAYS YOU

  WHOLE LOTTA LOVE

  Rock Star Romance series

  YOU REALLY GOT ME

  I WANT YOU TO WANT ME

  TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT

  MORE THAN A FEELING

  Wild Love series

  MINE FOR NOW

  MINE FOR THE WEEK

  Sign up for my newsletter to find out when WHOLE LOTTA LOVE goes up for preorder. And come hang out with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Goodreads, and Pinterest or in my private reader group.

  IT WAS ALWAYS YOU

  Erika Kelly

  ISBN-13: 978-0-9985177-8-0

  Copyright 2020 EK Publishing, LLC

  All rights reserved

  This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are used fictitiously or are a product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Cover design by Melissa Panio-Petersen

  Formatting by Serendipity Formatting

  Editing by Kristy deBoer

  This book is dedicated to Amy DeLuca,

  the kindest, most generous person I know.

  I’m lucky to call you my friend.

  Acknowledgments

  To Superman: thank you for loving me, making me laugh, and listening to my stories every single day of my life.

  To Sharon: thank you for believing in me so fiercely.

  To Kristy deBoer: thank you for hanging in there as we figure out my plots and for always making my books better.

  To Melissa: you make my world a better place, and I’m so grateful for all you do.

  To Erica: thank you for always being there for me and for your bottomless well of patience.

  To the romance writing community: I couldn’t do this without the bloggers and reviewers like Obsessed with Romance, Guilty Pleasures Book Reviews, About that Story, Reading in Pajamas, Zoe Forward, Shirin’s Book Blog and Reviews, Reads and Reviews, and Isha Coleman—to name just a few; and my friends in writer groups like the Dreamweavers, the DND Authors, Indie AF, and my Plotstormer girls.

  Chapter One

  DECEMBER, SENIOR YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL

  Cassian Ellis’s phone rattled in the cupholder. One hand gripping the steering wheel, he nabbed it and swiped his thumb across the screen.

  Brennan: She’s down for it.

  Anxiety burst in his chest. Propping his knee to control the wheel, he shot back
a text.

  Cassian: Leave her alone. I’m serious.

  Nobody touched Gigi Cavanaugh.

  Nobody.

  His eyes flicked back to the road just in time to spot the coyote in front of his truck. Slamming on the brake, he jolted forward, tires squealing as he came to a stop a foot in front of the terrified animal. Headlights gleamed in its stunned eyes.

  “Dammit.” Heart thundering, he tossed his phone onto the passenger seat.

  He’d almost killed an animal.

  He never texted while driving. Never. You’re losing your shit.

  He’d been away from Gigi all week, and he couldn’t stand it.

  She’s not my girlfriend.

  She’ll never be my girlfriend.

  He knew that, but still. The idea that Brennan—that any of his teammates—would try to hook up with her made him crazy.

  But that’s not fair.

  I can’t have her—but they can.

  He honked, and the coyote bolted into the sagebrush meadow. Accelerating, he turned down Blossom Road to find cars parked haphazardly all over the snow-crusted cul-de-sac. Impatient to see her, he drove his truck up the side of a hill, jammed on the emergency brake, and jumped out.

  Damn, it’s cold. His breath came out in quick, white puffs.

  He jogged toward the house, snow crunching under his feet. Bass from the loud music shattered the brittle air.

  The moment he opened the door, the noise and heat hit him. The place was crawling with people. It looked like everyone in his senior class had shown up.

  “Dude.” A teammate saw him and rushed over. Others followed, surrounding him. Jesus, not now. Someone shoved a plastic cup of beer at him, but Cassian waved it off, too focused on getting to Gigi.

  “Congratulations, dude,” a girl said.

  “Monumental achievement,” one of the guys said.

  “Come on.” One of the team’s wide receivers tried to drag him deeper into the room. “Shots to celebrate.”

  “Hang on.” Something about his tone caused their smiles to freeze. “I’ll catch up with you in a minute.” He shoved out of the circle.

  Where is she? He was so amped, he felt like he could hurl his truck off a ravine.

  What if she’d had too much to drink, and Brennan took advantage of that?

  Okay, first of all, Gigi wouldn’t let anyone take advantage of her. But, secondly, Brennan wasn’t a bad guy.

  That’s not the point, is it?

  The point is…what if Gigi wants to date Brennan?

  What if Cassian had to spend the last six months of high school watching her have a boyfriend?

  For nearly four years they’d been pretty much inseparable. He’d never had to see her with another guy.

  We’re friends. Nothing more.

  Her dad made sure of that.

  Not finding her, he wove his way through the crowd into the game room. A group played beer pong on a pool table. Several people gathered around the fireplace, listening to someone play guitar.

  Gigi.

  His heart about exploded at the sight of her. Eyes closed, cheeks rosy from the roaring flames, she was beautiful—the most spirited, strong, positive person he knew.

  And talented—not only could she sing, but she wrote songs that blew everyone away. For years, she’d performed at school functions—she was a rock star in the making.

  Beside her, Brennan sat too close. Cassian wanted to shout at him to give her some space. But he didn’t need to do anything, because when his teammate tried to cup the back of her neck, Gigi shrugged him off.

  He smiled. Yeah, she had no interest in his cornerback.

  Draining his red Solo cup, Brennan threaded his fingers through her silky, dark hair. Cassian’s body went on high alert. She’d made herself clear—why wasn’t the guy listening?

  He wouldn’t embarrass Gigi by making a scene, so he shot off a text.

  Cassian: Back off, man. Let her play.

  But Brennan wasn’t looking at his phone. He had his mouth right up against Gigi’s ear. Jolting to her feet, she jerked the guitar out in front of her like a shield. Brennan snaked a finger through the belt loop of her jeans and yanked. The moment she toppled onto his lap, she scrambled to get up, but Brennan wrapped an arm around her stomach and held her in place.

  Cassian charged across the room. In one motion, he pried his teammate’s arm off her and pulled Gigi away.

  She whipped around and kicked Brennan in the shin. “What’s the matter with you?”

  “Ow. What? I was just playin’.” Brennan slurred his words.

  Barely hanging onto his self-control, Cassian leaned in. “Soon as we get back to school after winter break, I’m going to get the entire offensive line to show you what it’s like to feel overpowered, got it?”

  “Yeah, man. It’s cool. We’re cool.”

  He turned back to Gigi, who was shaken. “Come on.”

  The buzz of conversation and laughter only fueled his agitation. I’ve got to get out of here. He wanted to be alone with her in the quiet of his truck and drive, but it was December in Calamity. Their small, Wild West town, sandwiched between the Teton and the Gros Ventres Mountain Ranges, was bitter cold this time of year and blanketed in snow.

  She tugged on his hand, head tilting toward the staircase. Let’s find a quiet room.

  Christ, no. He couldn’t take her to one of the bedrooms. Not only would it give their classmates the wrong impression of them, but…he only had so much restraint. He forged ahead.

  She tugged the back of his flannel shirt, pulling him into a small alcove. “Hey, I’m okay. Everything’s fine.”

  “He’s an asshole.”

  “He’s harmless.” Gently, she set her guitar against the wall, and then she gazed up at him with a sweet smile, amber eyes sparkling with excitement. “Tell me how it went.”

  A cartoon meme popped into his brain, a field of flowers bursting into bloom all at once. His spirits soared. Affection for her consumed him, disabling his ability to speak.

  She beamed at him with so much pride. “I’m so happy for you.”

  He could only nod.

  She smacked his arm. Come on. “Was it the coolest thing in the world?”

  He wanted to be in their treehouse, sprawled side-by-side on the mattress, so he could tell her everything on his mind. He had so much turmoil, and she was the only one who could sort through all the crap and get everything to line up.

  When he didn’t respond, her brow furrowed. “I wish I could’ve been there, but at least my dad was.” She gave him an encouraging smile. “Tell me everything.”

  “Not much to say.” What she didn’t know—what he couldn’t tell her—was that he’d wanted her there while he’d signed his letter of intent.

  He always wanted her with him.

  He didn’t need anybody but her.

  I love you. With everything in me, I fucking love you.

  He’d known it the moment he’d laid eyes on her his third day of school at Calamity High. It’d been like smacking his funny bone. It had reverberated throughout his entire body, leaving him shaky and hyperaware of his senses—the smell of too many bodies in the hallway, the buzz of conversation, the taste of the tart apple he’d grabbed on his way out the door.

  And, yesterday, he’d signed a contract that would separate them. He didn’t know what life would look like without seeing her every day. Didn’t want to.

  “My dad sent pictures of you in your blazer with the pen in your hand. He captured the big moment, right when you signed.” Her forehead creased. “Hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?”

  When she stroked his biceps, static electricity made the hairs on his arm snap to attention. This girl, with her amber eyes that probed and always found him worthy…she owned his whole heart. “I’m good.” I just missed you.

  And I realized I’m not completely myself unless I’m with you.

  And the idea of going to college without her made it feel like his wheels w
ere spinning out, kicking out gravel and dust. Chaos.

  “What were the other recruits like?” Her eyes went wide with impatience.

  He gave himself a mental shake. I have her now. For six more months. “It was in the Athletic Office.”

  A Beyoncé song came on, and even more people crowded the make-shift dance floor. People hollered and sang along with “All the Single Ladies.” When someone stumbled into them, Cassian shifted to block Gigi from the crowd.

  Boxing her in against the wall, his arms on either side of her head, he leaned in so she could hear him. “There’re twenty-three prospects but only five of us signed early.” He didn’t want to talk about the details, but he could see she wanted more. “The press was there, and there was a lot of talk about how we’re the best recruiting class the Big Ten has seen since two-thousand-and-seven.”

  “That’s so great.” She scanned his features, obviously concerned. “Are you not sure about Michigan?” Thanks to the dry, mountain climate, she always wore Chapstick. It must’ve worn off, because she kept licking her lips, that pink tongue tracing the seam of her mouth.